Perhaps the person who won’t allow you to move forward into the future is you.
You tried something : it didn’t work.
You related to someone badly: you won’t try that again.
You made things worse for those you love by taking a risk: nothing is worth messing up again.
You showed yourself to be a fraud when it came to your role: you’ll keep your head down and simply get on with things in the background now.
Forgiveness, though, has a remarkable way of opening life up. Otherwise we pace back and forth within a decreasing space in life. Jonah Lehrer picked something up from George Eliot which is very helpful for us:
‘She believed that the most essential element of human nature was its malleability, the way each of us can “will ourselves to change.”‘*
Unforgiveness does not allow change to happen, forgiveness does. And it comes to us fresh each day. Okay, yesterday, we messed up. Learn from it, imagine how you would or should have done it, start over.
(*From Jonah Lehrer’s Proust was a Neuroscientist.)