if you must

20 the best things

We cannot be given must, we can only uncover it.

The most helpful people we’ll come across are those who enable us to go deeper, they are not those who come to us with the answer – their answer, or the one they know we want to hear, otherwise:

‘The client not only abdicates responsibility for making the diagnosis … But assumes, in addition, that an outsider can come into the situation, identify problems, and remedy them.’*

This underlines how, in order to help you, I need to know what you really need, and you need to have reasonable expectations of what I can do.

Otherwise this can translate into a quick-fix answer being expected, and quick-fix answers rarely help.  Instead we need to slow things down, develop trust, and be willing to collaborate – I’ve been identifying recently how, through my dreamwhispering how I’ve often found myself exploring a new path with others.  It’s not the one they’ve been walking, nor is it the one I want them to walk, but it’s a new path discovered together, which they take the lead on.^

Values are a great place to begin when it comes to identifying our mustness.  Finding someone you can trust and collaborate with towards identifying and articulating your values is to find a great helper and to identify the path you must use.

When we connect what we must do to our highest values – all found within you – then something powerful and lasting begins:

‘I want you to live these values, I want you to feel these values every day.’**

(*From Edgar Schein’s Helping.)
(**From Michael Heppell’s How to be Brilliant.)
(^Check out this great little blog from Hugh Macleod on how results come from trust and collaboration.)

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