Afraid of being alone, we struggle to pay attention to ourselves. And what suffers is our ability to pay attention to each other, we lose confidence in what we have to offer others.*
Getting hit by lightning, finding the perfect job, having a djinni grant three wishes–these are all lotteries. … The problem with lottery thinking is that it takes us away from thinking about the chronic stuff instead. The pervasive, consistent challenge that will respond to committed effort.**
There is more to the inside of us than we know. We’re full of all kinds of whispers: felt senses as Eugene Gendlin named them.
To be with our true self can be an uneasy, uncomfortable and unfamiliar thing, but paying attention to what lies beneath our physical and emotional feelings, and our storyline thinking leads us to both the good friend we can be for ourselves and the accentuating of what we have to bring to others.
Here’s something to narrow the gap between where we are and where we can be, and it only needs a few moments:
Sit upright and comfortably, closing eyes, with both feet on the floor and notice bring your attention to the weight of your body, most noticeable in the seat and feet. Continue to gently notice this and when you feel able to, say within, Grounded.^
Then bring your attention upwards to your hearing and allow yourself to be aware of all the sounds you are able to hear: perhaps your breathing, technology, trees in the wind, birds. Don’t try to block these out but receive each as part of a symphony of sound. Continue to gently notice and when you feel able to, say within, Aware.
Let your attention now move to the centre of your chest, place your hand over your heart and notice your the beating and your breathing:
You are simply here, alive, breathing, feeling, experiencing your basic existence. It is happening right now, at this very moment.^^
When you are able to, say within, Present.
Extend your awareness to hold the feeling of each: grounded weight, sound awareness and breathing, beating, feeling presence. When you are able to, say within Grounded Aware Present.
Then, when you are ready, open your eyes and take in your surroundings. Reflect on and note if anything has altered or changed, however small.
*From Sherry Turkle’s Reclaiming Conversation;
**From Seth Godin’s blog: Lottery thinking;
^If you go for a walk then simply feel the weight down through your feet;
^^From David Rome’s Your Body Knows the Answer.
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