Paradoxically, a self-centred self cannot become more complex, because all the psychic energy at its disposal is invested in fulfilling its current goals, instead of learning about new ones.*
(Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)

The deepest need of man […] is the need to overcome his separateness, to leave the prison of his aloneness.’**
(Erich Fromm)

There are those who, ignoring developing the inner self, must crave stimulation from outside and the other in order to save themselves from boredom or anxiety.

There are those who, constantly developing their inner world, are able to stimulate themselves in all circumstances and take their richness into the other.

Of course, it’s not that we are either or but somewhere on a journey, moving towards the one or the other.  The key is knowing that developing the self is not about fate but a choice.

(*From Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s Flow.)
(**From Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving.)