and i, i did not know


“Everything’s wrong says he.  That’s a big text.  But does he want to make everything right?  Not he.  He’d lose his text.”*

“loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise …”**

There are many things we do not know, but we do not know ourselves most of all.

Today’s title appears in a story about the Hebrew Jacob on the run when one night, in the middle of nowhere, he had a dream about God.  In the morning, he wakes up, gasping, “God was in this place, and I did not know.”  Except the Hebrew says “and I, I did not know.”  It seems it wasn’t God or “out there” or anything and everything that he didn’t know, it was himself.

In the places between places is where we come to realise, we don’t fully know ourselves.  Geography, work, age can all feel like an exile.  Our complaint can become our life.  Even when something bright appears, I’ve seen people destroy it because they prefer their complaint.

These spaces feel can like an exile to us, or they can be a place for living our best self, where, through the creativity of humility, gratitude, and faithfulness, we get to imagine a world filled with what matters most of all.   To dare to strip everything away and find our primal energy.^

I can do this.  You can do this.

Wherever you are, know yourself, then do something amazing.

(*From George Eliot’s Felix Holt, quoted in Eugene Peterson’s Run with the Horses.)
(**Dawna Markova, quoted in the Northumbria Community‘s Morning Prayer.)
(^Check out this video sent in timely fashion by my friend Steve.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.