[P]otential difficulties were avoided best through two processes: 1) self-inquiry to gain awareness of what was happening inside me in order to avoid falling into destructive traps, and 2) humble inquiry to get more information from my wife … .’*

‘[P]eople learn through failure, that where people do failure avoidance, they will never achieve the kind of courage and risk taking that lead to bold innovation.’**

To be a good helper is about more than providing what we think another needs, more than make available even what the other needs.

We have to recognise how helping others helps us to grow and meets our own needs, avoiding the kind of helping that leaves us a level or two up on the person we’re offering assistance to.

This also makes it possible for the other person to avoid taking responsibility, or feeling they have nothing to give to their own need-meeting.

Helping is something we undertake together, and is a beautiful art.

(*From Edgar Schein’s Helping.)
(**From John Ortberg’s All the Places to Go.)