You may ask, “Who actually is doing the changing?” And the answer is the relationship. Because in the arena of possibility, every thing occurs in that context.*
(Roz and Ben Zander)
Building a relationship is a process that begins in the initial contact that the helper has with the client.**
(Ed Schein)
If we desire to create spaces of possibility with others asking open questions can be the best place to begin: “What do you want?”
Knowing ourselves allows us the confidence to be open in such a way as this, without agenda – agendas being one of the killers of spaces of possibility:
‘A positive attitude makes it easier to trust people, makes it easier to find collaborators, makes it easier to say “Let’s give this a go and see what happens.”‘^
Ed Schein reminds me how important commitment, curiosity and caring** are to helping others – and when you think about it, just about everything that happens between humans is helping, whether we do this at what Schein identifies as level one – contractual, professional, level two – more personal because this person matters, or level three – more intimately for those who are closest to us.
Our openness of mind and heart helps us to more fully see one another and what each brings:
‘Naming oneself and others as a contribution produces a shift away from self-concern and engages its in a relationship with others that us an arena formalising a difference.’*
(*From Rosamund and Benjamin Zander’s The Art of Possibility.)
(**From Edgar Schein’s Humble Consulting.)
(^From gapingvoid’s blog: Let’s give this a go and see what happens.)