the story we tell ourselves and the fraud

‘Change is the unfamiliar.  Change creates incompetence.’*

It’s why we love the familiar.  We know what to do and we feel comfortable.  Others see us doing it.  They remark on how well we have completed the task we have completed so many times before.

Change messes all this up.  We have to learn new skill.  We are uncomfortable and look inept.  Others see us looking inept and wonder how we got the job.

Today I had my annual review.  They are difficult to get right.  Too soft and they’re superficial and no use or help to reviewer or reviewee.  (If it’s your review, you are always the reviewer.)   Too critical and they disconnect from reality, as well as any sense of wholeness and wellbeing.

The opportunity to review our lives is a precious thing, though.

Today someone who checks in on this blog began a dreamwhispering journey with me a year ago.  I’ll be sending them a note just by way of marking this and just how far they have journeyed.  Reviews question the stories we otherwise tell ourselves.

Rumble is the term Brené Brown uses for getting to grips with the bad stories we tell ourselves, though we also need to rumble with the good ones.  There are many questions we might ask in a review but I offer three.  Good questions are our friends because our lives are never quite the stories we tell ourselves.:

‘A true rumble affects the way we feel, think, and act – our whole selves.’**

Remember, the fraud is the person who doesn’t find their voice and change things.

Which is to say, the person we defraud first of all is ourselves – out of opportunities and possibilities for offering our talents and resources in our unique creativeness.

The gap we mind is the one between the story we tell ourselves and the one we can really live.

Here are three questions for starters:

How have I been more observant?  Wandering and wondering: What have I seen, smelt, touched, heard, and tasted that has been new and/or different?

How have you been more present?  What have you observed with your heart, pursued though curiosity and deep interest because it has connected with your zing – life energy?

How have you realised more?  As a result of observing and feeling more, what imaginative and innovative work have you produced with and for others?

(*From Seth Godin’s blog: In search of familiarity.)
(**From Brené Brown’s Rising Strong.)


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