helpful me

20 helping is a journey

‘Helping is a complex phenomenon.  There’s helpful help and unhelpful help.*

When helping is all-pervasive, making possible all that happens or does not happen in the world, it makes sense to do it better.

When we help angrily, or resentfully, or leveragingly, it probably won’t even be perceived as help.  When I get on the bus this morning, and the driver smiles or responds in some way to my Good Morning, I’ll feel they are offering me pleasant help to get where I need to be.  But not if they ignore me.  Help becomes invisible or visible depending on the way we offer it.

In helping, I’m not only developing my capacity to help, but am given everyday opportunities to develop my character, to help more gently, more kindly, more patiently, even more joyfully and lovingly.

‘What kind of person do you want to become?’**

How do you want to uniquely help others.  My joy is to help people to become more who they are, towards them making their unique contribution.  All the time, I want to become better at helping them.

(*From Edgar Schein’s Helping.)
(*From Steve Chalke’s Being Human.)

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