The best person to compare yourself to is your self.

A few nights ago I’d the opportunity of meeting some brilliant young people helping each other to identify their knacks – their talents – with a view to sharing these with one another in help and support.

Not everyone was sure of their knack, but I wanted every one of them on my team because of the amazing things I think they could offer.

The really important thing is to have done the hard work within your domain,* constantly pursuing your curiosities and honing your skills … with a passion.

When it comes to those times when it’s necessary to compare yourself with others – to get a different healthy bearing on exactly where you, then it won’t get out of hand with you ending up thinking you have nothing to offer.

Here’s how you can compare yourself with your self.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi points to the following as indications of whether you are in the flow of your creative work, including:

1) you see clear steps; 2) you are able to recognise feedback immediately; 3) there is a balance between your skills and the challenge; 4) you are fully focused; 5) you cannot be distracted; 6) you are not concerned with failure; 7) there is no self-consciousness; 8) your sense of time is distorted; 9) you are so in the flow that the activity becomes autotelic – an end in itself.

Turn these things around and you have a list which looks like this:

1) you cannot see clear steps; 2) it’s difficult to tell how you are doing, because you can’t recognise feedback; 3) you feel there to be an imbalance between your skills and the challenge; 4) your mind doesn’t settle; 5) you find yourself easily distracted; 6) you worry about failing; 7) you are constantly self-conscious; 8) time drags and you find yourself time-watching; 9) the activity is exotelic – a means to an end which in and of itself you do not enjoy.

This tells you you’re not living your knack, or recognising and valuing it, and this can lead to unhealthily comparing of yourself to others.

To compare yourself with your self is about seeing whole picture within and without, upgrading rather than degrading what you know about yourself.  Otto Scharmer would encourage us to see this as presencing: being present to others, to our world and to our future Self in a healthy way.

‘Life is not about removing every obstacle;
it is about finding creative solutions for
taking advantage of those obstacles, or
learning from them … or living with them.’**

Flow, sweet spot, element, knack, purpose, calling, vocation, art, genius, strength – whatever you call it, it’s got to be you.

Our knack moves us from being reactive to initiating.

(*Your areas of knowledge and expertise.)
(**From McNair Wilson’s Hatch.)