Some pursue individuality as the way to express themselves, to be different to everyone else.

What if there is a better way?

I’ve been pondering the difference between individuality and autonomy (the freedom to control and direct one’s own life).

Individuality does not necessarily lead to autonomy, but autonomy leads to individuality.

What individuality can lack is self-awareness – knowing what we’re good at and what energises us, also how we can best live this in an integrated way with others, with our world, and with our future Self.  Individuality can fly in the face of each of these.

Self-awareness connects us with the elements and dynamics in our lives which are self-energising and self-rewarding – the things you’d do without being paid.  When we don’t have this, we can substitute external or extrinsic endorsements – the people we connect with, the things we wear (labels on the outside, please), the possessions we must have to achieve.

Think of self-awareness as a compass providing us with our true north no matter the geography we find ourselves in or the map we are trying to make sense of.  We know who we are and happily can depend on, or interdepend with, others.

Robert Greene offers a powerful picture of autonomous people when he describes how ‘they decide to forge their own route, one that others will see as unconventional, but that suits their own spirit and rhythms and leads them closer to discovering the hidden truths of their objects of study’.

He goes on to offer a wonderful story of how Micronesian sailors could make their   incredible journeys through knowing their world so well, a picture of how knowing ourselves offers the best opportunities for great adventures.

Master navigators knew the sky chart so well that
with the sight of one star in the sky they could
immediately sense where all of the others were
located.  They had learned how to read the other
navigational signs so well that it has all become
second nature.  They had a complete feel for this
environment, including all the variables that
seemed to make it chaotic and dangerous.

These variables also include being able to sense the temperature of the water, the reflections off clouds, the phosphorescence of the water, the flights of birds moving to and from land at different times of the day, and more.  All amazing.

The life of every person is as amazing.

Really?

Well, perhaps there are two big Truths we can agree on .  (At least I’ve been trying to get my head around these.)

The first is the Truth about everything that is.  When you add up absolutely everything which exists and all the possible ways these things act upon and react to one another in their predictabilities and unpredictabilities, the sum total of this has to be the truth about everything.  I think it’s fair to say that we’ll never ever know it all, though it is important that as a species, Humans continue to journey towards more discovering.  Humans are part of this, but even if we didn’t exist this truth would still exist – “truth” is only a label we stick on it.

The second Truth I find myself pondering is one we are creating together, the truth we increasingly believe Humans can become on a small planet in a vast universe – we are shapers of truth.  This truth isn’t about believing so much as it is about acting and actioning towards it.

This truth is an exploration of possibilities, a journey from how I see and understand things at the moment, to being open to more; then the need to be increasingly open to this more, beyond external observation, to seeing and feeling and understanding it from within and through others; and, we catch a glimpse of the emerging future which offers to come into being through our courage, generosity and wise actions.

Both Truths excite me, but the second one most of all.

Seth Godin writes: ‘Frightened, Clueless, or Uninformed,  In the face of significant change and opportunity, people are often one of these three. … Comfort the frightened, coach the clueless, and teach the uninformed.’  In his encouragement, I think Seth names a fourth response: courage.  At different times and in different circumstances we can be any of these – sometimes frightened, sometimes clueless, sometimes uninformed, and, yes, sometimes courageous.

Isn’t that the truth?

We disclose more of this Truth together on a journey, actioning the best of what it means to be Human, and the truth is, we need everyone.

So many things in life are offered to us as this/that, either/or.  But there’s a third option in each of these: the /.  The in-between.

Here are three reasons for choosing the in-between:

Digital or analogue?  Some love technology whilst others hate it.  I love what my computer allows me to do, and I love my journal and fountain pen.  It doesn’t have to be either/or.  We can have both.  Austin Kleon encourages us to step into the in-between: ‘It wasn’t until I started bringing analogue tools back into my process that making things became fun again and my work started to improve.’

Making a decision now or take time out to work on the problem more?  To go for the in-between means using the time-out to look more widely than simply at the issue or problem at hand.  To look at a specific issue reduces creativity.  Why not let folk loose on the bigger issues and wider picture, encouraging them to use a wide range of means and tools, as above.

Should I find this kind of role or this position?  The in-between view would be to see that would happened if you were to mix the two, create something new.  Even if you choose one over the other, you take a load of ideas into it to try out.

The in-between is a real space for exploration, and it’s where we can prove Humans are way more creative than either/or.

One day I’m hoping to make it to the Accademia di Belle Arti di Firenze.  Ever since I hear of Michelangelo’s  unfinished sculptures of slaves.  The four figures appear to be trying to free themselves from the stone which imprisons them.

When I saw them, they epitomised the Human struggle to be free, to become our true selves.  Some travel through their whole lives without becoming free.  I’m still struggling -some days are better than others.

Three words which help me, and which fascinate me by their depth or layers, are Humility, Gratitude, and Faithfulness.

Humility frees me because it overcomes both prideful and self-deprecating notions of self-worth.  There’s a dependency for those who think they’re better than others, as well as those who think they’re not good enough – both depend on what others think of them.  Humility is freeing because  we know who we are and who we can become, in relation to others and to the world in which we find ourselves.

Gratitude tackles the greed and dissatisfaction we experience when we believe we need more; instead we see how much we have and how we can make more available to others.  When people live with a sense of dissatisfaction, their worldview can be one of scarcity, they never feel they have enough to give to others or enough resources to begin a venture. Gratitude frees us to know we have enough to do something right now.

Faithfulness takes on the foolishness which rules when pride and greed reign unchecked.  How can we hope for a more Human world when we think we’re better than others and deserve more.  Foolishness repeats old behaviours, believing there’ll be a different outcome this time.  Faithfulness makes it possible to make the (often small and repeated) steps we need to take in direction of others and our planet.

Some interesting research focused on six life aspirations; three were extrinsic as the rewards (do this and you get this) – being wealthy, famous, and physically attractive – and three were intrinsic as they provided their own reward – satisfying personal relationships, contributing to the community, and growing towards one’s greater Self (they don’t need to lead anywhere else, they are satisfying enough).

It was a complicated piece of research intended to show up what happened with mental and psychological health if those involved showed high extrinsic or intrinsic aspirations.  They managed to uncover greater wellbeing amongst those who showed strong intrinsic aspirations.

When a space seems empty, the ideas aren’t coming, the words won’t flow, the problem won’t solve, sometimes the best thing we can do is hang around a while longer – when the temptation is to move on.

What happens next might surprise us.

By hanging around, I don’t mean twiddling thumbs and whistling.  Maybe the best thing we can do is some hacking – I like this definition from Mitch Joel:

‘Someone messing about with something in a positive sense, that is using playful cleverness to achieve a goal.’

I find myself inviting others into the empty space to play, people who see things differently to me, people who help me to see what is invisible to me:  books I’ve read, conversations I’m involved in somewhere or other, videos I’ve seen – mix them all up and see what happens.  (I journal as I go, keeping a light trail of thoughts.)

Not always, but sometimes, the best thing we can do is hang around for a little while longer and play.  If nothing else happens, you’ve learned how to hang around a little longer with playful purpose and that in itself can be huge.

You’ve just identified a resource or commodity no one else is aware of.  Maybe you found it under your house or in the walls, but you have sole access to it.  And it’s virtually limitless, so what are you going to do with it?

Maybe start a business?

Who will help you in your business?
Who’s it for – your customers – and what will they get out of this?  
How’s this unique and how you’re going to repeat something unique, again and again?  
Will you keep the day job?  
Will you charge for it or make it a charitable start-up?

By the way, this isn’t hypothetical.  It’s for real.

The commodity or resource you have sole access to is you and what you do.  It’s just a different way of seeing things because we need to see things differently when we get stuck – and we’re more often stuck than moving.

The questions, above, still work for our lives as a business start-up.

Nothing is perfect, either as we think we need it to be or it ought to be.  But we can be shocked at what can turns up in the imperfect, and we can be surprised at what can be done.

If you’re prepared to face the truth and reality of who you are, and to connect with this – I mean the deeper stuff you might not even know yourself at the moment – then you’ll see you have enough to do something quite extraordinary.  The trouble is, you’re waiting for perfect – perfect skills perfect feelings, perfect opportunity.  Well, it’s not going to get better than right now.

Anyway, it’s likely the thing you’ve just got to do is in response, or is a reaction to, an imperfect world – something you want to see working better than it does right now.

There are two kinds of imperfection.

There are unreal perfections.  These are when you’re over-criticial of yourself, most likely because of what others expect or want of you.  These are doubly crippling when you buy into them.  Firstly,  they don’t connect with your inner motivations – so they they don’t fulfil or satisfy you – and, because you’ve accepted them from a person or institution, you probably feel you’ve never don well enough.  Secondly, there’s part of you who doesn’t want to do these things, so you rebel and sabotage.

The real imperfections are your talents and abilities, your concerns and passions which really are who you are, which energise you and capture your attention again and again.  These provide an antidote to the other imperfections.

So, to sum up, the world’s not perfect, there’s no perfect time to do something, your skills and your motivations aren’t perfect.  Now we’ve got that out of the way, why not do something which will shock us at what can happen in the imperfect, and surprise yourself with some joy?

Someone has actually sat down and worked out how the more densely populated a city, the more actual collisions take place, leading to more patents being registered – roughly speaking, the moe people we encounter, the more ideas we have, the more new things happen.

I love this.  The industrial mindset removes such collisions, making it possible for you to stay focused for long periods so you’ll be more productive.  But our work spaces are changing, they are becoming more creative.

The industrial workspace is often single location, fixed spaces, isolational, routinised.  Creative workspaces are multiple, adaptable, communal, freewheeling.

Yesterday morning I sat down with a plethora of entrepreneurial* and imaginative people from a  range of businesses and interests who’d gathered in an artisan coffee shop because they wanted to meet other people like them – not knowing what might happen, they were willing to invest one to two hours in order to do this.  Interesting.

I find myself imagining the possibility of adaptable space being made available where people like these can bring their laptops and iPhones and cameras, plug in for a few hours and also meet others doing the same – bring on the collisions.  (And it’s doesn’t have to be only those who earn their income in these ways, but also people who are pursuing something in their free time which matters to them.)

If you’re anticipating a meeting with someone, try a different space.  If you have some work to do, why not find a cafe somewhere … or the museum or art gallery?  If you have some spare space, why not open it to people who would normally work alone but could pay you something to work in a communal environment for a while?  If you normally work alone, why not google out some possibilities for meeting with others?  If there’s nothing around, why not start it?

Rhinos can run at thirty miles-an-hour but can’t see thirty one feet in front of their horns.  That’s why they’re collectively called a crash.  Brilliant.  We could name them the mascot for entrepreneurs in the creative age.

(*I like Mitch Joel’s definition of an entrepreneur – it’s big and wide and potentially includes everyone who’s ever had an itch about anything: ‘A true entrepreneur is someone who has an uncanny desire to create the future; someone who sees inefficiencies in the work we’re doing – day in and day out.’

Yesterday, I wrote how finding your voice is important for others to find theirs.  Today, I thought to sketch out a little of offer some of the thinking behind this.

Steven Covey‘s eighth habit for becoming highly effective people is about finding our voices and helping others to find theirs – something akin to the flight safety presentation reminding us, if oxygen masks are deployed, we must secure our our own before helping others to secure theirs.  The presentation, presented by a bodiless voice or video, reminds you of what you must do

Who helped you find your voice? Or, who is helping you?

Mitch Joel offers six ways to become more digital; he’s really offering six ways to find your voice:

Learn it
Read more
Create more
Love it
Live it
Practice it

The first two catch my attention.  Learn it and Read more are about finding help from outside of ourselves – because when it comes to finding our voice, being creative, no one is an island.  Something captures our attention and we want to know more, so set out to learn about it, we read as much as we can (or watch as many TED videos as we can – so we involve as many people as possible in this exploration.  Then we can push on and begin playing with new possibilities and Create more, trying and trying and trying, but only if we Love it.   So we begin to Live it and breathe it, and we get to where we we put our art out there and see what others make of it as we daily Practice it.

Within this, but I pull it out here in order to underline it, is the truth that finding your voice won’t come easily or comfortably.  It will become a quest thousands of hours long, trudging through the tedious and multiple failures but then trying again (this is why you have to love it).

Another things to draw out from this is, whilst we need others to help us, they cannot choose what it is for us; many have been pushed in a direction which is not of their choosing, by parents, friends, teachers, employers, or something more numinous like culture or society – what comes from outside must resonate with what lies at the centre of who you are.  Your authentic voice can only be identified and developed by you.

In this post are hidden five great books – all of which can be seen as help from outside; here’s a quote from a sixth book:

Anyone who would spend ten years absorbing the
technologies of their field, trying them out,
mastering them, exploring and personalising
them, would inevitably find their authentic
voice and give birth to something unique
and impressive.

By the way, the benefit of ending your voice?  You’re not waiting to be picked; you’ve just picked yourself.

(Here’s a seventh, because my cartoon is often inspired by Hugh Macleod.)

Your voice can be recognised by your family, friends, and colleagues in what feels like a fraction of a second.  It’s your unique signature. 

So here’s a few things about voices.

We talk about finding your voice to mean identifying your unique and authentic contribution.  This is where we get the idea of vocation and calling from.

I can recognise your distinct voice from the things which you’re curious about, from the skills you hone, from your personal touch, and your approach to life, no matter what you’re doing.  It’s your life signature.

But what if you couldn’t recognise your own voice?

You may be trying to impersonate someone else, to “sound” like the person your parents or partner or employer wants you to be.

Hear of voice development?  Just like your speaking voice can be developed, so can your life-voice.  But if you don’t know your voice, you can’t develop it.

Finding our voices and developing them excite me a lot, but the third thing excites me even more.  When we find our voices, we help other to find theirs.  And that can change the world.

Someone once said, the world doesn’t need a second someone else, it needs the first you.

(*vo·ca·tion  (vō-kā′shən)