“I’m not that smart.” Someone said that to me the other day and it was heartbreaking.** Seth Godin
While finite games are externally defined, infinite games are internally defined.^ James Carse
Please respect others, Deeply respect the world, But don’t forget to respect yourself.
Here’s why a lack of self-respect is heartbreaking for Seth Godin:
The correct thing to say is, “I don’t care that much.” I don’t care enough to do the reading, to fail along the way, to show up, to make a promise, to learn as I go, to confront failure, to get better at the work. All of that might be true. But you’re almost certainly smart enough.*
Self-respect doesn’t mean easy; It does mean putting ourselves on the hook.
We not only create stories for metaphors for life, we create then as metaphors for a meaningful life. To live meaningfully is to be at perpetual risk. … If, should the protagonist fail, life would go back to normal, the story isn’t worth telling.* Robert McKee
And how will we choose to walk through the world and what will we leave behind … Seth Godin
Goods and information have become abundant and commonplace, Not so a good choice towards a meaningful life.
all man can do is add his fragment to the whole* Robert Henri
But the task of all tasks is to transform what is insignificant into greatness, what is inconspicuous into radiance; to present a speck of dust in a way that shows it to be a part of the whole so that one cannot see it without also instantly seeing all of the stars and the heavens deep coherence to which it ultimately belongs.** Rainer Maria Rilke
My contribution and yours may only be small, But the picture of life will be the smaller without them. It will take some gritty spirit, That’s for sure, And it will take challenging and encouraging community, But these are all part of what makes a speck transcendent. We have a choice: Speckulate or not, But, I for one look forward to what you will bring.
Gritty people do more deliberate practice and experience more flow. … In other words, deliberate practice is for preparation, and flow is for performance.^
Life is the story you tell yourself. … I was lost. That’s when I began to realise: While storytelling has drawn significant academic and popular interest in recent years, there’s an aspect of personal storytelling that hasn’t gotten enough attention. What happens when we misplace the plot of our lives?* Bruce Feiler
the true advances of my life could not be brought about by force, but occurs silently, and that I prepare for them while working quietly and with concentration on the things that on a deep level I recognise to be my tasks** Rainer Maria Rilke
Nurturing internality provides us with a compass, Though in truth, we’d prefer a map. Life is so big, though, And we reach the edges of our charts so quickly, So we must either stop and turn around, Or trust the whispers of our thin silence – Those talents, energies and values that make us strong, keep us focused, provide dexterity and create purpose.
To be able to stand not knowing long enough to let something alive take shape.^
It’s possible to be found on the outside but lost on the inside, It is also possible to be found on the inside whether we are lost or found on the outside.
When I am experiencing meaning, it feels as though my life is a story that is interesting to myself and also good for the world.* Donald Miller
People get so caught up in the fact that they have limits that they rarely exert the effort required to get close to them.** James Clear
Salt isn’t just salt. It comes in so many colours and flavours and forms. Our neighbours brought us a gift of whisky-infused, smoked salt … and it’s wonderful. I sometimes add a pinch or less^ to a recipe, But whilst I can still make out the peppers or squash or beans, The salt has gone, In one sense added to all the other ingredients.
I can get caught up wanting to make a difference that leaves some kind of object behind, But I’m becoming more comfortable with the thought that my true legacy may be more like the influence of salt, Which perhaps will mean someone will keep going, Or pick up a book that somewhere down the road leads to a change of direction, Or perhaps simply leaves another smiling.
What interests us is our saltiness.
When we come to it We must confess that we are the possible We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world That is when, and only when We come to it.^^
True character can only be expressed through choice in dilemma. … A character is the choices they make over the course of their lifetime.* Robert McKee
Remember that interests must be triggered again and again and again. … throughout adulthood, we maintain the ability to grow myelin … .** Angela Duckworth
Aided by Angela Duckworth, I’ve been reflecting both on the link between a growth mindset and optimism, And a fixed mindset and pessimism. I suggested some ways to move from being fixed to growth. Duckworth suggests a few more things to add: Remember that we are able to produce myelin throughout adulthood – The wonderful insulator we lay down around neurons and synaptic connections when we repeat ways of thinking and acting, Our abilities being faster electrical signals; Do positive self-talk, Which I would translate as: we need to create our own story and explore it in some way or other every day – Using journaling wherever possible; and, Find the kind of people that will help us keep going, Who will not allow us to give in. It all means that we have a lot more choices through which to express our lives.
Robert McKee‘s newsletter: Who Is Your Character, Really?; **Angela Duckworth’s Grit.
Whether you think you can, or think you can’t – you’re right.* Henry Ford
I’ve found that the growth mindset and grit go together.* Angela Duckworth
When it comes to optimism, Don’t think happy, smily people denying reality, Rather think of people who determine to keep going until they succeed, arrive, Or push through to a better possibility. Angela Duckworth’s definition of an optimist is:
they thought of temporary and specific causes for bad events, and permanent and pervasive cause of good events.*
The reverse is true for the pessimist.
There’s a link between Duckworth’s grit and Carol Dweck’s growth mindset. I thought you may like to see how you agree or disagree with the following four statements:
Your intelligence is something very basic about you that you can’t change much.
You can learn new things, but you can’t really change how intelligent you are.
No matter how much intelligence you have, you can always change it quite a bit.
You can always substantially change how intelligent you are.*
If you disagree with the first two and agree with the second two then you have more of a growth mindset and you are more likely to be optimistic and to keep moving. Agree with the first two and disagree with the second two and you have more of a fixed mindset and are more likely to be pessimistic and to become stuck.
Of course, The good news is that we don’t have to be held in a pessimistic/fixed mindset world; We can learn our way out of it.
A good place to begin is to find some people who respond to failure and success differently to those who have influenced you through your life, Whether this means reading their books,** Asking to have an hour with them if you buy them a coffee, Or get involved in dreamwhispering.
*Angela Duckworth’s Grit; **Check out Carol Dweck’s Mindset as well as Angela Duckworth’s Grit, or, for a comprehensive list of ways and means, Anna Katharina Schaffner’s The Art of Self Improvement.
When all the world is a gift in motion, how wealthy we become.** Robin Wall Kimmerer
Whenever I am around people, my heart and soul radiate with the awareness that I am around greatness. Maybe greatness unfound, or greatness undeveloped, but the potential or existence of greatness nevertheless. You never know who will go onto do good or even great things or become the next great influencer of the world – so treat everyone like they are that person.^ Kat Cole
Yes, Yes, Yes, Each of us is here with a contribution to make, A gift to bring into the world, Often made visible and grown through personal dilemma or difficulty, And the more beautiful for it.
just about any occupation can be a job, career, or calling* Angela Duckworth
The question then is how to get lost. Never to get lost is not to love, not to know how to get lost brings you to destruction, and somewhere in the terra incognito in between lies a life of discovery.** Rebecca Solnit
We do not have to venture far To become lost, We only need to wander more deeply into the reality of who we are and the truth of where we are. As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote,
The human being knows himself only insofar as he knows the world; he perceives the world only in himself, and himself only in the world. Every new object, clearly seen, opens up a new organ of perception in us.^
And we also add other explorers to this list because,
The closer we look at what other people believe and do, the more clear it is that our view of the world doesn’t precisely match theirs. It never has but now it’s magnified. No one believes what I believe, not exactly.^^
Becoming lost, Moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar, May be all we need to move from a job to a career to a calling without changing occupation.
At its core, the idea of purpose is the idea that what we do matters to people other than ourselves. … In my “grit lexicon,” therefore, purpose means the intention to contribute to the well-being of others.* Angela Duckworth
Before a human being thinks of others, he must have been unapologetically himself; he must have taken the measure of his nature in order to master it and empty it for the benefit of others like himself.** Rainer Maria Rilke
How do we find purpose?
For me, It began with an irritating question: What do I do well and I should focus on? It turned into the pursuit of helping others. It wasn’t as clean cut as Rainer Maria Rilke has it, But I noticed that as I was discovering things about myself, I wanted to help others to have their own journeys of discovery. Over time, I noticed that this was more important than anything else, Even more important than the work within which I had uncovered my original question. Growing purpose takes time, Often unnoticed, And it’s always worth taking a closer look.
THIN|SILENCE 
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