It is our responsibility to set our future self up for as much opportunity, success, and joy as possible. This is how you become the person and create the life you want, rather than becoming someone with regret. Describe your future self.*
Ben Hardy

The voice is an inner whisper not obvious or known to others outside. It receives little attention and is not usually highlighted among a person’s abilities. Yet so much depends on that small voice. The truth of its whisper marks the line between honour an egoism, kindness and chaos.**
John O’Donohue

If we go for what Ben Hardy espouses –
And this is what my work with people is about –
Then we must make sure that we are also
developing the inner voice John O’Donohue writes about;
It happened that I read the two books together
four years ago, which feels
significant: as I read Hardy’s words again today, there,
Too, was the small voice desiring we
proceed with caution, always setting ourselves up for
honour and kindness over ego and chaos.

*Ben Hardy’s Personality Isn’t Permanent;
**John O’Donohue’s Divine Beauty

When a man can control his life, his physical needs, his lower self, he elevates himself.*
Muhammad Ali

These are the characteristics of the rational soul: self-awareness, self-examination, and self-determination. It reaps its own harvest … It succeeds in its own purpose.**
Marcus Aurelius

The fourth elemental truth states:
You are not in control,^ but
there is more detail to this we need to explore:
Whilst we can’t control things out there, we can
control things in here – the most
important place – meaning we can control
our response to everything out there –
This is Viktor Frankl‘s point;
Marcus Aurelius wrote wise words to himself, but
we get to benefit: we are each capable of developing
awareness and
examination and
determination^^
of the self, leading to some interesting results –
The more we control ourselves, beginning with the
basics, the more we can
affect our surroundings …
Though in a more profound, more helpful, even
more beautiful way.

When an artist says “Trust the Soup” she means let go of the need to control (which we can’t do anyway) and put your faith instead in the Source, the Mystery, the Quantum Soup.*^

*Ryan Holiday’s Discipline is Destiny;
**Ryan Holiday’s The Daily Stoic;
^Richard Rohr’s Adam’s Return;
^^More than being self-aware, we descend deeper by self-examining, and build our power to self-determine so that we can travel further in the outer world;
*^Steven Pressfield’s Do the Work.

May you see in what you do the beauty of your soul.*
John O’Donohue

The self is always under construction. The multiplicity of selves is what allows change.**
Peter Turchi

All the people
I have ever been are
still here, collaborating and
vying,^ helping today’s me not only
figure out who
I want to be and what
I want to do, but also how
to bring these towards some
greater oneness and fullness.

*John O’Donohue’s Benedictus: For Work;
**Peter Turchi’s A Muse and A Maze;
^There are some of my past “me”s that I don’t want to be again, and that’s how they help me.

Characterisation is achieved … through a process that opens up and releases mysteries of the human spirit. The object is not to “solve” a character – to expose some hidden secret – but instead to deepen and enlarge the riddle itself.*
Tim O’Brien

There are aspects of ourselves that are hidden from ourselves as well as others. We are more complex and multifaceted than we think. From time to time something unknown rises to the surface from our unconscious – for example in a dream.**
Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschäppeler

We never reach the end of the mystery of
who someone is, whether
ourselves or others;
This is so for every person, best
not to give up on anyone too soon,
Especially yourself –
I’m most interested in how
we can change and change
again and again, and how
life keeps opening up to us when we do:
Why would we want to stop now –
Maybe it’s only just beginning?

*Peter Turchi’s A Muse and A Maze;
**Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschäppeler’s The Decision Book; this is a description of the fourth quadrant of the Johari Window: first quadrant – what we know about ourselves and share with others; second – what we know about ourselves, but do not disclose; three – what we do not know about ourselves, but others see clearly. As for the fourth quadrant, when we meet new people, try new things, go to new places, we discover more about ourselves; so, too, as we develop openness, learning, discipline, and experimentation.

This is the truth of who I am: weird, beautiful, hobbled, beloved.*
Anne Lamott

Don’t let the hope of finding a better way prevent you from starting down the best path you know of right now. This day won’t come again.**
James Clear

We are contradictions wrapped up
in a lifetime: so we ought not to think that we are
therefore disqualified from
magnificence – and significance for
someone somewhere – who knows what
the best we have will open up to if
we embrace it?;^
Everything doesn’t have to happen right now:
Time is simply nature’s way of
making sure that everything doesn’t happen
all at once.^^

*Anne Lamott’s Dusk Night Dawn;
**James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter: On good genes, personal responsibility, and how to appreciate your precious time;
^My work is to help people find the best path they have, and it is always greater than they believe, always iridescent in some way;
^^Seth Godin’s This is Strategy.

Now there is something in everybody that waits for the sound of the genuine in other people … I must wait and listen for the sound of the genuine in you. I must wait. For if I cannot hear it, then in my scheme of things, you are not even present. And everybody wants to feel that everybody else knows that she is there.*
Howard Thurman

In a surprisingly short time this doctor succeeded in explaining to the man that freedom is not ‘freedom from’ but a ‘freedom to’ – a freedom to accept responsibility.**
Viktor Frankl

If we are not taking up our
responsibility, if we are not
free to do this, then can we say that
we are fully present, genuine, whether
here or there –
And if not, then
where are we?

What must we do before
we have to give back this
borrowed life?;
There is no easy, pain-free way, only
choice and practise –
Which is what life is all about
in the end.

I will not die an unlived life,
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise…^

*Brian McLaren’s Faith After Doubt;
**Viktor Frankl’s The Doctor and the Soul;
^Dawna Markova, from The Northumbria Community‘s Morning Prayer.

Light thinks it’s Beyoncé, shimmering with celestial meaning, but shadow knows that without it, we ain’t got nothing to show for ourselves – no paintings, poetry, or song.*
Anne Lamott

It asks something of us, this emptiness, this hollowness. It is a call. It is a call to meaning, and a call to love.**
Nick Cave

Shadow
defines us, presenting
need, asking
questions, showing us
the way; unanswered, it can
overwhelm us, even
destroy us, but, embraced, it can
make us.

*Anne Lamott’s Dusk Night Dawn;
**Nick Cave’s The Red Hand Files blog: #200.

I like to think that everything is a coincidence. Life feels more amazing to me if it has no meaning. No secret agenda. Beautifully random.*
Derek Sivers

In short, the more we try to render the world controllable, the more it eludes us; and the more daily life loses … its resonance, its capacity to touch, move and absorb us.**
Oliver Burkeman

I never know what will turn up in
my reading in a morning, in the
randomness of my book and blog shuffle –
here are four from today:
The universe has given birth to we strange
creatures of meaning, necessary to our
deeper consciousness, possible in the darkest of
circumstances, as Viktor Frankl shares
from the death camp:
For even in this socially limited environment,
in spite of the societal restriction upon his personal freedom,
the ultimate freedom still remains his:
the freedom even in camp to give some shape to his existence.^
Though it is not
a card we have to play all the time,
Sometimes, we can just let the world be
the world, enjoying the wonder and allowing ourselves
to be astonished: Life getting on
with its own thing whilst
we walk across it:
This is wisdom –
To mean or not to mean.

Without creative engagement in the world, without contributing to the spirit of the world, I think I would start to feel a bit like an onlooker or something. But maybe that would be enough, just to observe what the world has to offer. Its a rich and amazing place and perhaps it has wonder enough.^^

*Derek Sivers’ Hell Yeah or No;
**Oliver Burkeman’s Meditations for Mortals;
^Viktor Frankl’s The Doctor and the Soul;
^^Nick Cage, from Nick Cage and Seán O’Hagan’s Faith, Hope and Carnage.

And he noticed that the more he wrote, the better he felt. He opened up to his wife again, and to his work. His depression lifted.*
Susan Cain

Tenderness, love, and compassion are exquisite feeling experiences and are generally recognised as such.**
Erich Fromm

I come to my morning journal to
write myself into the day;^
The shape of the day becomes better, even bigger –
Connecting me with the past and future – and I,
I feel better prepared to fill it –
Far from perfect or anything close, but
bringing me closer to the things that
matter most.

*Susan Cain’s Bittersweet, of James Pennebaker;
**Erich Fromm’s The Revolution of Hope;
^I have found that what began as a hopeful experiment on the 15th May, 1998, has sustained me across the years.

The ego, static and unmoved, relates to the world in terms of having objects, while the self is related to the world in the process of participation.*
Erich Fromm

Our life’s purpose isn’t just a destination but a journey marked by growth, discovery, and the continuous realignment of our actions with our deepest values.**
Alexander McManus

We grow an ego to know who we are –
I am not you and you are not me –
But neither you nor I are meant to dwell here,
We are moving from dependance to independence to
interdependence;
Without this movement, the ego ossifies –
Forever the caterpillar and never
the butterfly, we might say –
Wanting the world to come to it, to
have it, and yet,
When we are at our best,
We are moving towards the world, the
other, wanting to connect and experience,
Participating through contribution.

*Erich Fromm’s The Revolution of Hope;
**Alexander McManus’ FutureU.